The Grumbler has been AWOL for quite a while but, like Johns McLane & Rambo and, of course, Dame Edna, is back with a vengeance. Or at the very least he is back, and will cease and desist with this whole third person thing shortly.Since I haven't done this in such a long time, I have some notes on my trip to London and Paris last year that I am going to run extremely belatedly (post-humously, one could argue, given the way this blog just pulled a "Jesus"). Let's get to it.
Ghostface ft. Ne-Yo: Back Like That
(Mr. 'Face wasn't expressly referring to the Lazarus-like comeback of the Grumbler - in fact, he wasn't talking about any kind of coming back at all - but I'm assuming artistic license here.)
Assorted things I like about London
- Tea with milk and some toast on Portobello Rd.
- Near colour-blindness
- The wide range of cheapo books at Notting Hill Gate Book & Comic Exchange
- Dancing at Bar Rumba
- South Kensington and Knightsbridge swank
It's the Rolls-Royce Knightsbridge Collection. Ergo: this image is once again totally relevant to this post.- British Museum
- Berwick St. record stores
- Dirt-cheap noodle bars in South London
- Hamsptead Heath & Hampstead Village
- Old Street's 333 club
- Doubledeckers
- A sarnie and cuppa at a greasy spoon
- Tate Modern
- Time Out London
- Quaint cinemas (e.g. Notting Hill Coronet)
- People being polite
- People being rude
- Brixton Market
- Tesco's & Sainsbury's salads, single-packed cakes, etc.
- Elephant & Castle shopping centre
- All branches of the Video & Music Exchange
- Sunday editions of the Guardian (Observer) and Independent
- Natural History Museum
- Salt & vinegar crisps
- Variety of cultures (Lebanese on Edgware Rd., West Indies in Brixton etc.)
- The Thames
- Brixton's Plan B club
- 24/7 offies. Shopping for a lil' sippy-sippy for the after-party at 4.52 a.m.? Yes, please!
- The tube
- Charing Cross Rd. book shops
- Peckham multiplex (all tickets £4.50!)
- Greenwich
- Viet restaurant
- St. James' Park
- Free entrance to most museums
- The prices
- Oxford St. at peak hours.
- Pubs' closing times (yes, the law has been altered but almost all pubs seem to insist on closing at 12 p.m. at the latest).
- How cumbersome partying can still be. (On the Sunday I was there, no place in all of Greater London stayed open for business until 4 a.m. The club I was at closed at 2 a.m. but stopped serving drinks at 12.30 a.m., which is just asinine, not to mention dragonian.)
- Tube workers striking, almost making me miss my train out of LDN.
- The ubiquitous Aussie ex-pat, never shy to establish his utterly relaxed demeanour with a nice pair of Bermuda shorts and nicely tousled locks. Surf's up, mate!
- Rude cashiers.
- Leicester Sq. cinema ticket prices. £12 to £19 to see the Bourne Ultimatum? That, as they say, is bollocks.
- The Suit Brigade, ie . most people working in London offices. While a suit can be very snappy on occasion, having to wear (what is usually a really bad) suit to work every day is faintly Hitleristic (yes, it's a word).
- Bloody tourists.
- Faucets (the two-faucet-one-sink installation - this is not the 50s, you know).
- Housing, which all in all is very dodgy compared to Finland.
- Posh twats.
- Places of business (shops, bars, clubs) not accepting credit cards - pathetic.
- Everything closing so early. Look, if you want to promote an idea of yourself as a city that never sleeps, most of everything closing at 10 or 11 p.m. is unacceptable.
- Tower Bridge £18? Piss off, mate.
- Pointless dress code in less-than-palatial clubs.
